yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
