Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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