Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
