i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
