I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
