Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize