I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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