YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
