dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
