I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
