I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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