Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
