So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Small penises have feelings too.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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