Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
