How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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