I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
