I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
