he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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