bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
