let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am never drinking with the goths again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
