Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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