How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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