Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
