I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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