butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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