someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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