no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
