whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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