Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
