he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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