At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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