Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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