hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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