so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
