My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
