Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
