Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
