Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
