From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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