i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
