Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
