She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
