my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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