Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
