Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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