I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
