he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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