new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
