at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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