Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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