It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Soap is not a condiment
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize