The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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