Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
