so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
