Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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