I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
