Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
