dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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