I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
