its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
