we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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