My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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