My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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