Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
