Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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