I think i peed on brittanys purse
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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